God Help Us Indeed

********* year reunion, God help us

Host: Class of 19**
Location: Some sports bar near Penn Station


When: Saturday, November 24, 8:00PM

Alternatively titled, "Help our class president get his deposit money back."
$50 will get you three hours of open bar (beer & wine) plus appetizers. We'll be in the Greene Room, on the main level. You can pay at the door.


PLEASE we need your help in notifying all of our classmates. While we're trying to respect everyone's privacy, you can safely assume we do NOT have everyone's email address. Forward the info, and invite others via evite. THANK YOU!

Answers to your questions: Yes, spouses are welcome (children too, but then we'll probably question your judgement), you pay at the door, Class Officer and Class President organized this, yes, sometimes, yes (if you ask nicely), 15, no, and not in a million years.

This is the Evite for my high school reunion and after reading it I had to laugh at the irony. You see, we had our prom at the Waldorf and now we have been reduced to paying 50 bucks for beer and wings at a sports bar near Penn station. It probably indicates how stressed everyone is financially, therefore our president is trying to make it as cost effective as possible.

In terms of the timing of our reunion and the run and gun approach of setting it up, my guess is that they choose the weekend after Thanksgiving since that was probably when most of the class would be in the area or maybe they were counting on people not to show up at all since most of us are still recovering from the trauma of the Thanksgiving holiday.

When our first reunion came around, it included personal phone calls to alert classmates of the reunion which I never responded to. I think what probably happened this time was that our fearless leader and his administration completely forgot that the reunion was this year. For whatever reason, all the class officers bailed on him except for one who was courageous enough to assist him on the task. I suspect the following reasons why the rest of the class officers are not helping out:

1. They are freaking out over mortgages they can't pay for.

2. They are afraid of other people silently judging them for their current station in life.

3. They only became class officers to put it on their college applications and that position has outlived its usefulness.

4. They are really successful and rich and it would be really depressing to associate with people who are less successful than they are.

For whatever reason our commander in chief also reported in a previous announcement that his attendance for this soiree was tentative. Which would be understandable since he works in finance and his company is under a ton of pressure. Any reason preventing him from hosting the event would probably be work related.

A friend of mine once described my relationship to my high school class as love/hate. And he is correct. I love to hate my high school class. However I do keep in touch with some friends and there are a select group of people that if I were to meet them on the street I would definitely talk to them. This would include my class president who I voted for and was the first Asian American to ever been elected and the person who is assisting him who I have known since kindergarten. They are both are very nice people and I do think of them very highly.

But if I were to see a bus load of the douchebags from my class going off a cliff, I wouldn't bat an eye.

I guess the best way to sum up my high school experience and high school would be the following.

This was definitely not my high school.



This is probably a more accurate depiction of my high school.



And this is how I felt throughout my 4 years.



In a nutshell I was grateful that my high school career ended in 4 years. Apart from facing the wrath of puberty, insecurity and being unhappy, some of the cliques in my high school were vicious as hell and the only time they acknowledged me was to insult me other than that I was ignored. And I did not just get grief from them, I had some friends who treated me as their personal punching bag. Needless to say, I am friends with them no longer. I think what really made me angry was that I was not someone who sought out trouble yet I seemed to be a magnet for it. In other words my high school class and my experience was completely normal.

The only distinction we have to the other graduating classes is that we were one of the last classes to be able get limos for our prom. Now all classes are required to take a bus to the prom after the year the entire high school showed up wasted at the homecoming dance.

Since graduating from high school I have run into some of these idiots and the funny thing is that they still revert to their roles in high school. What these f**ktards have not realized is that I am not the same person that I was in high school which I am more than happy to remind them. So if they were to insult me at a reunion, I would respond verbally in kind. Of course with their fragile egos in danger of cracking, they might cross the line and something like this could happen.



Or this.



Most likely this would happen.




The majority of my class are either lawyers, former lawyers or law school drop outs which would make an altercation a legal nightmare. Also health insurance is very expensive these days even for my classmates with high incomes and we are getting older. It is just not worth the trouble to get into a fight and besides I am not looking for one either. You'll notice that I even edited the information in the Evite to protect their privacy despite the fact I could care less about some of these people.

So I am maintaining the my streak for abstaining and I am sure they won't even notice.

A Better Tomorrow

This is how cool you have to be.


Recently there has been a lot of talk about the foreign buyers invading New York City and they have been touted as the next big thing since the Wall Street Bonuses. With the weak dollar the international community have been flocking to New York City for bargains. Already the streets of Manhattan are flooded with tourists with wads of cash buying luxury items. Travel agents are even advertising weekend trips to Woodbury Commons in London.

Real Estate is no different.

This enthusiasm for Manhattan real estate isn’t felt by just a few enterprising foreign buyers. Real estate brokers say that they are seeing more sales to foreign buyers than ever before and that these buyers are helping to fuel the Manhattan market.
The increase in demand comes as a new tide of high-rise condominiums is hitting Manhattan. Buyers from other countries who don’t have credit histories in the United States or who do not intend to use their apartments as primary residences have historically had trouble passing muster with co-op boards. But condos pose no problem for foreign buyers, and they often find that buying in Manhattan is less expensive than buying a comparable house or apartment in cities like London.
Jonathan Miller, an executive vice president and the director of research at Radar Logic, estimates that foreign buyers have bought about 1,000 newly constructed or converted condos in Manhattan in the last 18 months, which is about a third of the condo sales in Manhattan in that period.

They are even hitting Florida.

To the degree that the market has held up, it has been helped by eager foreigners, checkbooks in hand, who are still showing up and often paying cash. A survey last year by the National Association of Realtors found that the number of foreign buyers in Florida had dropped significantly from 2005. But of those who bought, 29 percent paid cash. Only 8 percent of domestic purchasers did. More than 10 percent of the foreigners bought homes for over $1 million.

So the broker community is good to go right? Nothing to worry about here, since those buyers will just line up at your offices. I disagree. If brokers will really want to haul in the big profits from the foreign invasion they need to take the initiative and stage a pre-emptive strike.

That means traveling to the buyer’s country and acquiring buyers on foreign soil. Why? Once those foreign arrive in New York City, they will have already procured a broker at that point and have no need for your services. Brokers that cater to foreign buyers already have a network that consists of friends, family and colleagues that funnel them leads. They can afford to sit back and wait.

If you are a broker who is Chinese and speaks fluent in Mandarin, you are wasting your time if you are not ass deep in Shanghai.

The United States has more billionaires than any other country: 415 by the last count of Forbes magazine.

No. 2, and closing fast? China.

A year ago, there were 15 billionaires in China. Now, there are more than 100, according to the widely watched Hurun Report. Forbes has documented 66.
Unlike America's rich, China's are hardly famous, even here. Bill Gates and Warren E. Buffett are known around the world. But Yang Huiyan and Robin Li?
Yet, who they are, and what they decide to do -- or are allowed to do -- with their money and newfound influence will have political and economic consequences in China and probably far beyond, analysts say.
''They could start buying companies in the U.S.,'' Chang Chun, an economist at the China Europe International Business School in Shanghai, said. ''They have so much influence.''
Thanks to the capitalist stock mania sweeping the Communist mainland, Chinese private and state-owned companies issuing stock for the first time are becoming the most valuable companies in the world -- at least on paper -- often overnight.
On Tuesday, Alibaba.com, one of China's biggest Internet companies, had a blockbuster stock offering, raising nearly as much as Google and soaring 193 percent on its first day of trading.
That came after the debut on Monday of the state-owned energy company PetroChina on the Shanghai Stock Exchange. Its market valuation ran up to more than $1 trillion, topping that of any company in history.

When you get to Shanghai with that 100 grand book yourself the best suite in the best hotel you can find and begin to stage a hearts and minds campaign for wealthy Chinese buyers.

You need to target the areas where the rich congregate, whether they are bars, restaurants, and golf clubs. If you have a family member or friend that can make introductions, even better, if not, you might have to hire a power broker who can give you access to these circles of wealth.

So now what do you do? This is where the 100 grand comes into play because you are going to be generous with that money to the point of night sweats. That means buying expensive dinners, drinks, trips, gifts and perhaps other pleasures that the Pope might frown on.

You are going to focus on businessmen with families and are going to ingratiate yourselves to their wives because in Chinese culture they are ones always running the show. Get the women on your side and the men will follow.


One thing that you are not going to do is sell real estate. You heard me. You are not going to try to push an exclusive or ask them to be their broker. What you are going to sell is opportunity. What you will talk about is how amazing China has become and you will tell them they are so lucky to be rich in a time when the dollar is so weak and the Yuan can go so far in America. And even though America has fallen from the economic hierarchy, it just a lull for now, for one day it will come back on top twice as strong.

Inform the wives that the opportunity to prepare for their children’s future is at hand. Buying an apartment for the children will prove quite useful if their children decide to move to Manhattan for school or work. And if they don’t, then they can always sell or rent it out.

They will ask you questions and pick your brain. Be generous with your answers and show your knowledge but restrain yourself from helping them too much.

The most important thing is to make the impression that you are the mack, the go to guy, the Chow Yun Fat of brokers. You can blow 100 grand in shanghai because it is chump change that you can make in a day as a broker.

After leaving, make sure to exchange contact information and maintain relationships online and send expensive gifts during the holidays. Make sure they remember you. If you pull this off you are going to get an army well qualified who have gobs and gobs of cash.

I predict in the next couple of years there will be an exodus of wealth from China and this is one reason why.

But many analysts argue that there is nothing underlying the skyrocketing values, or that the obscure finances of the companies make it impossible to know their true value. And if China's stock market is a bubble, the new billionaires will disappear as quickly as they rose.
''A lot of people are surprised at how fast this has happened,'' said Jing Ulrich, an analyst at JPMorgan. ''But this is the power of the capital markets. A lot of people's wealth is based on newly listed companies.''
After a nearly decade-long bear market for Chinese stocks, investors here are in party mode. The Shanghai Stock Market is up nearly 400 percent in two years. The Hong Kong Stock Exchange is shattering records.

There will be those who will be smart enough to sell before everything goes pop and decide to get the hell out of dodge. And considering the stability of the government, it would not be all that surprising if we see another brain drain. Those people are going to need a place to live or at least a place to store their cash. That is where you come in.

Doing this is not for the faint of heart. Your looking at a major investment that you may not see a return on for quite awhile, if at all. But if it is done right you will be swimming in huge commissions for at least next 5 years.

GOTCHA!

Douglas over at True Gotham has posted pictures of those douchebags who were stealing from his exclusive.





Here is something interesting about this thief.

Good news, bad news. The good is that we FINALLY have the surveillance video from the Open House that was robbed this past Sunday. The bad news is that they aren't nearly as clear as we had hoped but they are good enough to alert the industry and the public to this duo of thieves who have apparently hit at least (probably more) 5 open houses since October 21st. Note the brunette fixing her wig in the elevator. My agent who caught them in the act is almost certain that the brunette is a man in drag. The blonde was a bit smarter than her partner as she was careful to not show too much of her face on the video. She seems to be a real woman too.

Here's the blonde.


IF YOU SEE THESE PEOPLE AT AN OPEN HOUSE DO NOT APPROACH DO NOT BE A HERO CALL THE COPS AND LET THEM TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.

AS FOR THE THIEVES, IF THEY ARE SMART THEY WILL LET COPS TAKE THEM IN. BROKERS CAN BE VICIOUS AS HELL IF YOU MESS WITH THEIR EXCLUSIVES.

Red Alert ended

Crisis is over. Systems back on line. Let's hit those ATMs.

RED ALERT

CHASE BANKS ARE DOWN NATIONWIDE. THIS INCLUDES ONLINE BANKING AND BRANCH COMPUTERS. THEY SAY THEY SHOULD BE UP IN RUNNING WITHIN THE HOUR. THEY ARE ABLE TO DO DEPOSITS AT THE BRANCHES.

Veteran's Day

This is a very disturbing report from True Gotham regarding a robbery from an open house.

Yesterday, Sunday, 11/12, one of my Upper West Side properties was robbed during an open house. My agent caught one of the 2 women in the act and when confronted the 2 women panicked, dropped most but not all of what they had stolen and dashed out of the building. One of the women ran into the bathroom when caught, relieved herself, cleaned herself with a bath towel, threw it in the bath tub and ran out of the apartment pushing past my agent and suggesting she would sue him if he touched her.

Upon inspection of the apartment by both the police and the sellers, merchandise (jewelry, etc) and prescription narcotics (with other people’s names) from other Upper West Side robberies was found stashed around the apartment. It appears that when they were caught, they panicked and began leaving this merchandise so that it wouldn’t be discovered on them should the police catch them. So it is likely that someone else was victimized yesterday and may not even know it yet. They haven’t yet been caught but we have very clear video of these two women on building security cameras. To that end, I will be providing all of you with these images upon receipt so that sellers and their agents can be aware at your future open houses. I will also be providing a contact number for the precinct that responded to the scene.

In addition to this just being a disgusting experience, the thieves did get away with the seller's diamond eternity engagement ring and another heirloom ring that her grandmother had left her. It's a violation that no one should have to experience but fortunately no one was hurt.

I remember one open house I did, the seller was convinced that somone had stolen one of his credit cards. The broker I was working with at the time was pissed at me, but it was not as if I was being negligent. A ton of people had streamed in and I was the only one on site

In the end it turned out it was all a mistake on part of the seller. He found the card. However, he was a cool guy and he apologized for his actions.

The amount of agents needed for an open house depends on the the size of the apartment and what type of building it is.

If you have a one bedroom co-op with a doorman you are looking at a 3 person team. One to cover the lobby and bring buyers up, and two agents, one in the living room and one to cover the bedroom area. If you have a studio, you can get away with one agent.

The smartest thing that Douglas did was to have a two man team to watch over everything. From what he described, he took the proper actions which was to let them go and let the authorities handle it. As much as it would have been pretty cool for the agents to apprehend these a**holes, a melee would have ensued and would probably have resulted in physical injury and damages to the apartment.

I am very angry that these two degenerates committed this crime. A seller places a great amount of trust in their broker to conduct an open house and anyone entering the premises should act in a respectful fashion.

As soon as those pictures come on line, I am posting them and hopefully these criminals can be caught.

Noah over at Urbandigs has relaunched his site and it looks better than ever. Like True Gotham, he has made an effort to differentiate himself from the rest of the brokerage community and it has paid off. I highly recommend checking it out.

Oh yea, those of you interested one those hunger striking dumbasses passed out. The irony is that she is not a Columbia student. She is from the Barnyard.

Glory Days

Friday night I invited a friend of mine to go with me to see New Bern High School play in the first round of the division playoffs. My friend, who had not been to a high school game in years, was quite a player in his day. As we were walking down the bleachers looking for a seat we saw 5 guys that we had gone to high school with some 35 years ago and we sat with them. It was a great time and we all reminisced about our glory days on the High School team back in the day. New Bern proved to be to talented for the team they played from Raleigh, and it was pretty much a blow out. Nevertheless we all throughly enjoyed the game and have decided to go to round 2 of the playoffs next week. Hope to see you there.