SAY IT! SAY IT!

Even Sam Kinison knows the answer and he's dead.

As week speak the financial world is a dropping a collective load in their pants over Fannie and Ginnie Mae.

Here are some links that will give you the rundown on what is going on.

Woes at Loan Agencies and Oil-Price Spike Roil Markets

Fannie’s Unofficial Safety Net: the U.S.

Paulson: Keep Fannie and Freddie in current form

I am going to say what is already on everyone's mind.

THERE WILL BE NO BAIL OUT!

Jim Kramer was ranting about how the banking system was being dismantled and the government did not have a clue on how to take care of it.

I am sure Bernanke and Paulson know what is happening. But the problem is not a lack of action. The problem is the following: THERE IS NO F**KING MONEY!

It has been like that for quite awhile. Remember the Tsunami of 2004?

When the time came to collect money for the needy, the US could barely match their counterparts. Why? Maybe because the US has been blowing their wad on this matter in the Middle East.

It is all crash and burn from this point on.

Queens or Scarsdale?

This week I am introducing a new feature called Queens or Scarsdale. In these entries I will be displaying pictures of houses that either belong in Queens or Scarsdale. It is up to you the reader to determine whether the house belongs in Queens or Scarsdale.

Besides amusing ourselves with some really bad architecture, my objective is to prove that money does not buy taste nor does it buy common sense. In fact common sense just goes out the window.

And just because something is in Scarsdale does not necessarily mean it is better than a house in Queens. In fact you might find better deals in Queens.

Without further ado.




Love the chain link fence and the port a potty. It just screams high class.





And of course we have the Mcmansion shot.

Feel free to either email me your guesses to Propertygrunt(at)Yahoo.com or put your comments in my entry.

Post 4th of July Part 1:Ippudo and a blind item

Greetings folks, I hope all is well. This past Sunday I was recovering from my post 4th of July activities. No. It was not from a hangover. It was from Remen. Yes you heard me Remen, to be specific Remen from Ippudo.

When I first heard of Ippudo from the Gothamist I was quite intrigued. If you know me, which most of you don't, I am a remen freak. So I decided to go to Ippudo with a friend of mine during the 4th of July weekend.

I want to get something clear, I am not bagging on Ippudo, it is a great restaurant with great decor and great service. My friend and I were seated immediately as soon as we arrived. There was a delay in ordering on our part because we were waiting for the menus until the waitress pointed out at that what I thought was the wine list was actually the menu.

I would have loved to have sat at the Remen bars that were set up in the main area of the restaurant but we were instead seated near the cashier area which actually wasn't that bad.


It was a pretty mixed crowd of young people and family. I also spotted some some people taking pictures of their dishes which led me to believe they were food bloggers or were sending their pictures to food bloggers.

We both ordered the Shiromaru Classic and stuck to that even though the waitress was pushing us to add some braised pork. Upon the arrival of the food, I handed over my portion of the pork to my amigo since I don't eat meat and began to dig in.

In all honesty, the noodles are damn good. Fresh,chewy and quite slurpy. In fact they are of better quality then Momofuku and you get more bang for your buck at Ippudo in terms of portion size. With extra broth leftover we ordered a second portion of noodles. Of course it would have been better if we got a cracked egg. One thing that makes Remen kick ass, even the instant stuff, is a cracked egg.

So what's the big deal? Well here's where it gets hairy. The next day I could barely move. My sinuses were all dried up and my head felt like it had been in a vise. The funny thing was that these sensations felt very familiar to me. But I just couldn't put my finger on why I was feeling like this.

I went down the list of things I ate yesterday which included half the products from Trader Joe's. However, I have never gotten ill from eating them. Not yet. I whittled it down to the Remen at Ippudo. But it wasn't food poisoning. The food was quite fresh and I wasn't throwing up. But there was something in the food that gave me this migraine from hell. Then I realized it. MSG.

My symptoms indicated a classic case of the MSG headache that made Chinese takeout so infamous back in the day.

Where do they put the MSG? It has to be in that delicious broth of theirs since it is what flavors the remen. And it is a common hiding place for MSG.

I am sure if they are confronted, Ippudo will deny using MSG and the only way to be truly sure is to send a sample of their broth to a lab for analysis. If any of you want to take up the challenge be my guest.

For good remen, I would highly recommend the place. However, those of you who are MSG sensitive, be warned, the next day after eating a bowl you will want to stay in bed.


I would like to end with a blind item.

Which landmarked building is subject of a deal closing today? It appears their foreign investors are quite happy parking their money in this building. However, it will be business as usual since the other shareholder is still maintaining the operations of this particular building.

Roll Call: The Real Media Estate Rollout

This Jared did not shed any weight but I am sure he feels alot lighter after getting rid of that debt.



SURPRISE! Another roll call! I was going to hold off but I have been emailed a lot of interesting stories.


Carlyle Group Buys Stake in 666 Fifth's Retail for $525 M.

The Carlyle Group closed today on the purchase of an interest in the retail condo at 666 Fifth Avenue, the tower that Kushner Companies bought last year for a then-record $1.8 billion, according to a source familiar with the deal.

Looks like Jared is really happy about this.

The deal, which is being financed by Barclays and SL Green and was brokered by Carlton Group chairman Howard Michaels, comes at a good time. This transaction will allow the Kushner Companies to pay off $335 million in short term debt obligations.

Kushner will retain a 51 percent interest in the retail condo as well as continue to own fully the 1.45 million-square-foot office tower where it's located. (Jared Kushner, a principal at Kushner Companies, is The Observer's publisher.)

A spokesman for Kushner Companies had no comment.

Honestly, whenever I think of the Carlyle Group, I think of this genius and how his bravado got him canned.


I got this email from Feren Communications. (Thank you Sarah for contacting me and putting me on your list. Btw, my invitation to make you famous is still open)

When I read this press release, I was pretty shocked. When the real estate boom was in full swing, there were a ton of these real estate reality shows on tv. Nowadays I haven't seen alot of them. The only thing associated with real estate are foreclosures and bad times. The fact that BRAVO has decided to go march on with these shows just goes to show how much faith they have in these brands. Honestly, I am curious to see how they fare now and I would probably watch just for the possibility to see a train wreck.

BIG MONEY AND HIGH-DRAMA RETURNS WITH THE PREMIERE OF THE SECOND SEASON BRAVO'S "MILLION DOLLAR LISTING," Tuesday, August 5 at 11 PM ET/PT

Series Follows Hollywood’s Top Agents As They Navigate The Cutthroat World Of High-End Real Estate



NEW YORK, NY – June 24, 2008 – Bravo gives viewers an inside look at the top agents in Los Angeles's tough real estate market, who despite the softened market, stop at nothing to close seven figure deals on the second season of "Million Dollar Listing." The six-episode, one-hour docu-series, which looks at the high-stakes, cutthroat world of real estate, premieres on Bravo on Tuesday, August 5 at 11 p.m. ET/PT immediately following the finale of “Flipping Out.” The series moves to its regular time period on Tuesday, August 12 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

"Million Dollar Listing” follows the lives of Josh Flagg, Madison Hildebrand and Chad Rogers, three of Los Angeles' hottest, young and aggressive realtors in the making as they make a fortune selling multi-million dollar properties in the most exclusive neighborhoods – Hollywood, Malibu and Beverly Hills. Over the course of nine months as their paths cross and they compete and expose the intense what that it takes to move the multi-million dollar listings in the City of Angels.

Where are my manners? How could I forget Kelly Kreth?

She is a rep for NY Residential featured on the CW. Here is the trailer.

Last but not least, of course others may differ, the late Leona Helmsley has the last word.

Helmsley’s Fortune May Go to Benefit Dogs

Sure, the hotelier and real estate magnate Leona Helmsley left $12 million in her will to her dog, Trouble. But that, it turns out, is nothing much compared with what other dogs may receive from the charitable trust of Mrs. Helmsley, who died last August.

Her instructions, specified in a two-page “mission statement,” are that the entire trust, valued at $5 billion to $8 billion and amounting to virtually all her estate, be used for the care and welfare of dogs, according to two people who have seen the document and who described it on condition of anonymity

.

Woof!

There is always one.

OH YEAH!


This morning I heard on Bloomberg Radio that the real estate market in Manhattan has now officially went into a sUimp according to the Great Jonathan Miller.

Here's an excerpt from their site.

July 2 (Bloomberg) -- Manhattan apartment sales dropped the most for a second quarter since 1998 and unsold inventory approached an eight-year record, two signs prices may be poised to drop in the nation's most expensive urban housing market.

But if you put in Jonathan Miller, Bloomberg in Google News, take a look at what you get.

Manhattan Second-Quarter Apartment Sales Drop Most Since 1998
Bloomberg - 7 hours ago
``There is sort of the anticipation, the expectation that the other shoe is going to drop,'' Miller Samuel President Jonathan Miller said. ...
Apartment Sales Remain Vigorous in Manhattan New York Times
Manhattan real estate starts to soften CNN
Manhattan housing market slows Crian's New York business.com
Earthtimes (press release) - New York Sun
all 65 news articles »

There is at least one party that says it is alright to drink the Kool Aid.

Even the Dark Knight needs a place to live.

For the past several months I have been bonding over emails with a reader who I will call The Dark Knight. He has proven not only knowledgeable in certain matters of the real estate industry but has demonstrated a sharp and delightful wit. The Dark Knight also strongly empathizes with my issues regarding the hygiene of the cashiers at Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods. It is no surprise that I look forward to his emails.

Recently, The Dark Knight embarked on a mission to find a house in the suburbs of New Jersey. However the experience has left him, well as satisfied as watching a double feature of Joel Schumacher’s Batman films. Below is the email detailing his quest, which I have obviously edited to protect The Dark Knight’s identity.

P.G.:

It was a pleasant surprise to get your e-mail. So, my wife and I spent the better part of a year looking for houses in NJ (primarily in NAME WITHHELD.) and NAME WITHHELD (BUT TRUST ME. THE DARK KNIGHT IS LOOKING IN REALLY NICE AREAS). We were looking at properties listed at between $850,000 through $1.2 million. My target was to buy something in the $850,000 to $950,000 range. We must have looked at least 100 properties. After all of that, we decided to stay in the City one, maybe 2 more years.

Our reasons are many. However, one of our primary reasons is that, even though we were looking at properties listed in the million dollar range, most of them were shit. Complete and absolute shit. $900,000 houses that needed complete gut renovations (but, as the home owner of one such shit-house cheerily explained to me "it's on a cul-de-sac!"). The million dollar home with no closets in the master bed room. The absolutely gorgeous brand new six bedroom house--across the street from the Getty station. My wife, realizing that her expectations may be "unrealistic," kept muttering to herself "for a million dollars, it should be livable, no?" The feeling I got was that a number of the home owners still thought it was 2004. I had to explain to one home owner, who lamented to me he needed to sell his home for more than he owed on his mortgage, that neither I nor any rational buyer was not going to bail him out from his mistake. We put in one bid on a house in NAME WITHHELD, which sat empty for one year, only to be quickly out bid.

Our spirits crushed, our faith in humanity shaken (and my wife now in constant fear that we may have imported someone's bed bugs into our apartment) we decided to stay where we are. Or, maybe move to (NAME WITHHELD)--the kid will be going to (NAME WITHHELD)--in the Fall. Maybe next year sellers in NJ will get the message that the punch-bowl is empty.


Looking forward to hearing back from you.

You hear that folks? It appears that it is not only suburban New York getting the smackdown but New Jersey is also getting hit pretty badly.

As for the Dark Knight, I have no doubt that with his precise mental acumen and strong sense of humor, he will find a great deal in his beloved New Jersey. Because there will be a point where someone will just say f**k it and cash it for whatever they can because they just can’t afford to stay for the turnaround.

Roll Call: Ethnic Backlash

“My friend is like, why don’t you write something inappropriate on the form like, ‘I hate ch**ks’ … I just filled out the form and I wrote ‘I love ch**ks'— and who doesn’t?”

Sarah Silverman





Nina over Reuters emailed me some primo articles on the Reuters Real Estate Summit.

Below are some of my selections.

Asia, Mideast to unleash "go west" property drive

SINGAPORE/SEOUL (Reuters) - A wave of capital from the Middle East and Asia could be on its way into ailing U.S. and European property markets, as a weak dollar and falling asset prices lure sovereign wealth funds and institutional investors.

Since Japanese investors bought a string of U.S. offices in the 1980s only to be burnt by a market crash, global property investment flows have been mostly one way -- from the West to Asia .

But that looks likely to change.

"Instead of talking about emerging markets in Asia, now emerging markets could be in the U.S. ," said Yu Lai Boon, chief investment officer of Dubai World, a state-owned investment firm.

"As investors in the Middle East, we're seriously looking at the U.S. and European markets right now as the beginning of investment for the next golden era."

The New York Post reported on June 11 that the Abu Dhabi Investment Council was negotiating to buy a 75 percent stake in New York City's landmark Chrysler building for $800 million.

Last year, North American investors pumped about $8.4 billion directly into Asian property, while the reverse flow reached only $2.7 billion, according to Jones Lang LaSalle.

They handed over another $30 billion, treble the Asian contributions, to global property funds, which invested $25 billion in Asia and $29 billion in North America .

At a Reuters Global Real Estate Summit this week, several executives said capital flows could become more balanced, with Chinese, South Korean and Japanese investors looking abroad.

With the U.S. dollar falling about 3 percent against the yen so far this year, and around 13 percent over the last 12 months, their spending power has been magnified.

The full text of the story is on Reuters.com at:



Chinese investors renew interest in U.S. properties

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Chinese interest in U.S. commercial property is back and this time Chinese investors may become significant players as the nation devises a vehicle to divert large amounts of funds for foreign investment, a Cushman & Wakefield executive told Reuters on Monday.

Flush with dollars from a huge trade imbalance, Chinese sovereign wealth funds are beginning to test the waters in New York real estate. They were recently among the throng of bidders for three properties once owned by Equity Office Realty Trust, said Scott Latham, executive vice president, Capital Markets group for real estate services company Cushman & Wakefield.

"They are coming. We've seen them in the bidding process over the past four months on a number of assets we've handled," Latham said at the Reuters Global Real Estate Summit in New York . "I think that unlike the Middle Eastern sovereign wealth funds, they have not yet figured out an efficient way to get the money out of their country."


Mexico may benefit from higher fuel prices: AMB Property Corp CEO

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Soaring fuel prices may force some companies to move manufacturing and warehousing closer to the United States, a trend likely to benefit Mexico and U.S. urban centers, the head of AMB Property Corp Properties told Reuters on Tuesday.

Skyrocketing fuel costs are forcing manufacturers to rethink their locations. With oil topping more than $135 a gallon, manufacturers are weighing the costs of labor against the price of shipping, AMB Property Chairman and Chief Executive Hamid Moghadam told the Reuters Real Estate Summit.

"I think Mexico stands to benefit the most," he told Reuters.

Higher fuel costs may affect not only where goods are manufactured but how they are transported and warehoused. Although the upshot is not likely to be a complete overhaul, incremental changes are likely as the cost of fuel trumps labor and rent expenses, he said.

"It's not going to be any total change of the supply chain," he said at the Reuters Summit.

Still, while high U.S. labor costs and a lack of manufacturing infrastructure will likely hinder a U.S. rebound in manufacturing prowess, Mexico may benefit as manufacturers seek to cut shipping costs.

"They have the combination of cheap labor and close proximity to the U.S. market as opposed to China , which has the cheap labor but obviously is farther away," Moghadam told Reuters.

Mexico already manufactures items from drugs and food to flat panel television screens and auto parts, he said.

ING Real Estate plans China and Japan funds

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - ING Real Estate is raising a $750 million fund for China and plans to launch a fund for Japan later this year, expecting troubled landlords and developers in both countries to offload bargain properties.

Richard Price, the firm's Asia head, told Reuters some of the best investment opportunities in Asia would be in Japan , where rising borrowing rates and a cut in bank lending for property could persuade some landlords to sell.

ING Real Estate, a unit of Dutch financial group ING ING.AX, is looking to raise $300-500 million in the second half of this year to buy offices, industrial buildings and shopping centers in Japan , he told Reuters.

"Japan is the largest market in the region and there'll be very real opportunities over the coming year or 18 months," Richard Price, Asia chief executive for ING Real Estate, said at the Reuters Global Real Estate Summit in Singapore.

"It's a very highly leveraged market and probably the most severely affected by the credit crunch in this region."

Most transactions in Tokyo in the next year will probably be for buildings that are not quite top-notch, Price said at the Reuters Summit.

Tokyo's office market is probably peaking, according to most analysts, having been popular with investors, who have typically borrowed heavily at Japan 's rock-bottom interest rates to take advantage of a price recovery in the last five years.

The global crunch has made Japanese banks more conservative in their lending for property deals, threatening to soften prices of small and second-grade buildings.


Property stocks are bargains, LIM says

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - Asian property stocks are ultra cheap but investors could be losing out because they prefer private equity property funds to property securities funds, Hong Kong fund manager LIM Advisors told Reuters on Tuesday.

Japanese real estate investment trusts (REITs) are trading at more than 40 percent discount to net asset values, while shares of Thai and Philippines property developers are all bargains, according to Peter Churchouse, director for LIM Advisors.

"Private equity guys are having an easier time raising capital today than securities guys," Churchouse said at the Reuters Global Real Estate Summit in Singapore .

"In a way you should be looking at it the other way around, because these private equity guys are going to pay full dollar, full price, to buy real estate and you can buy real estate stocks at half the price of the assets.

"Logically, you should be buying Japanese REITs, not Japanese property."

Mori Hills REIT 3234.T, for instance, is trading at 35 percent discount to NAV, Churchouse told Reuters.

Amid lingering concern about the global credit crunch and its impact on the real estate sector, many property stocks in Asia and other parts of the world have headed south. Japan 's property sector has fallen 10 percent so far this year, Singapore 's 14 percent and Hong Kong 's 25 percent.

This is just a fraction of the news that has been presented at the Conference, I would recommend going to the Reuters to read more of the articles.

You are all probably asking "What's with the racist Jello commercial?" Well you should thank the Angry Asian Man for that.

Also I think people should know that Sarah Silverman got her career off the ground not by being funny but saying an ethnic slur and passing it off as comedy.

There is a ton of money being funneled around different parts of the world for these real estate transactions. Wherever that money lands, you can damn well be sure that its origins are going to quite different from its destination. Don't think it will not go unnoticed. It didn't for the Japanese as the late Mr. Buckley pointed out in his own polite manner with this article.

Understand that certain factions of society are going to feel under siege by these factors. And there will be various individuals who will seek to exploit this tension to their advantage. So expect more media spots like that Jello commercial and expect Sarah Silverman's humor, for the lack of a better word, be more popular.

However, things are a little different these days. These "foreign investors" are not simple going lay down to be kicked and punched. They will stand their ground through legal and media channels. If they have the money to invest then they have the money to protect themselves.

America is not going to be only place where you will see an indigenous outcry against foreign investors. I recently watched a PBS called Wide Angle about the emerging Chinese legal system called The People's Court.

It shows how the Chinese government has been pushing the development of their legal system to all corners of their country and progress has been made. However when it comes to real estate legal issues, even Manhattan's most infamous slumlords have nothing on what some of the Chinese most corrupt real estate developers who have been getting away with murder. Literally. Already tensions are high in China between the haves and have nots. Throw some foreign investor money into the mix and the s**t will really hit the fan.

This is not a doomsday scenario, this is our new reality. Just be aware of that.